Recently, my friend approached me about being in her wedding party. I was naturally flattered (always the bridesmaid, never the bride)--she is a wonderful girl and after meeting her fiancee, I must say he truly loves her.
As with every other bridesmaid, you just wait for the insidious, ugly Bridezilla to pop out of your friend's/sister's/other's personality--never seen before and hopefully after the wedding, never to be seen again. But my friend has proven to be the exception.
Not only has she allowed the bridesmaids to pick out our dresses, she has placed no high end demands, no screaming, no mind-scarring rants...so what gives?
My friend wants a beautiful wedding. She also wants a wonderful experience before, during and after the wedding. Let's face it girls, there are some people (and you and they know who they are) who are extreme controlfreaks well before the engagement ring slipped onto their left hand, so you have no excuse about accepting their request for your presence. Yeah, there are the occasional people who slip under the radar, but they are very rare. In fact, you can see the devastation they leave in their wake: frustration, resentment, anger, non-communication, verbal carnage, familial destruction, etc...
Bridzilla behaviour is not constrained to family and friends. Recently, I was at a shop where a bride came in complaining that the owner ordered the gown too small. In fact, it was discovered the bride had GAINED weight and she still refused to accept responsibility for her weight gain! I felt so sorry for the bridal party, her mother and future mother-in-law who accompanied her.
It is surprising to many of these future brides that when they sow anger, resentment, vileness, and destruction that they reap it back tenfold. Who wants to start a marriage on such a negative note? Unless they have the backbone of an earthworm, many a groom and both sides of the family soon leave this hapless she-monster at the alter...alone.
Recognize yourself? This can be avoided. Rephase your demands to requests. Rein back your rage and anxiety for your health as well as for those around you. Be reasonable about your requests. Own up to your responsibilities. Delegate--many hands make light work. Show up to your bridal appointments on time. If you have a specific idea in mind, bring pictures of what you want, the specific colour you desire, etc--the vendors can only work their magic if you give them something to work with. Treat others as you would want to be treated yourself. Nicety goes a long way. It is surprising how vileness brings things to a sudden and sometimes destructive stop.
My friend has proven to be an Angel Bride. She is getting everything she wants without the angst and craziness. I know that TV mostly promotes the shows where bad behaviour, nasty conversations and familial implosion abound. Very few TV shows how beautiful, touching and life-changing this stage in life is.
No comments:
Post a Comment